Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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