im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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