Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
