How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
