my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
