I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
