What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
