i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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