There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
