I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The adults are the big ones right?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
