Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't make out with my wife yet
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Mom said you looked used
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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