I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
