This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
