My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
