you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
