It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
