I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
