Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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