They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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