at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
