I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
