i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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