where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
