I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
