All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
