There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
