This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
