dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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