but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
