When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
