hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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