ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
