Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
