Do you still have your period?
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
