TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
