I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You need a sexual gate keeper
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
