If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
