You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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