I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
