I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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