Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
