ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
