this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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