I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
