Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
