Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
