I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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