when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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