Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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