there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
