I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
