I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
